Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
