My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
