She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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