she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
