I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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