There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
