He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Floor bacon is actually really good
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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