you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
