I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
