Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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