I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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