so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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