your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
