K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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