I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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