Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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