pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
