so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize