"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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