just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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