Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
