i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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