Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Randomize
