i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
