waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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