Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize