I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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