to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
