And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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