just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
