Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
