She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
