Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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