went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
