Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We left the knife in your bed.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
