Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
