Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
