I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
oh god the rape fog is back!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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