i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
