we're blogging at a bar
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
