She said her name was "party"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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