So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize