I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize