remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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