it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
