Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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