Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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