am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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