This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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