I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
