I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
id be glad to
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
