Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
