You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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