Sry I called you an 8
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
