was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
