Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
