I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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