i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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