i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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