just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize