remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
A bitchslap is in order.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
