I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
